Why I Fired My Personal Trainer
When I first started working with a personal trainer, I had no idea what to expect. I assumed they knew all there was to know about fitness and nutrition, and I didn’t assume there was much difference between one trainer and another. I started working out in my very early 20’s, and it included a lot of YouTube, research, and trial and error. Like all things in life, it took a lot of practice and a lot of time, but I finally started to feel confident in the gym. I was seeing some great results with building muscle and toning up, and the in-body scan that I did at the gym showed that I had dropped my body fat percentage and was in great shape!
Fast forward a bit, and I had moved out of state to be close to my fiancé, and I kept up my good habits for a couple of months, but then Covid hit. The gyms were shut down, stress levels were high, and it was hard to find a good rhythm with working out from home. Even though I tried really hard to keep up with it, it was difficult, and I just wasn’t seeing the same results working out from home with very minimal equipment. This went on for a little over a year when we decided to do another cross-country move. There weren’t any gyms close by, but our apartment complex did have some workout equipment, so I decided to hire a personal trainer that I found on Instagram to help me get back in shape. This was right around the time that I started learning more about holistic health and ancestral eating. I was just dipping my toes into the water but wasn’t fully convinced, so I didn’t really take many of those holistic philosophies with me while looking for a personal trainer.
What I wish I had known at the time was that I didn’t need to lose any weight. I had become a slave to society’s standards, and thought the lower the number, the better. What I should have been working towards was my body composition, and focusing on building muscle. With just a few workouts, I started questioning everything. The workouts were hard. I’m not the type of girl to shy away from hard, but it got to the point where I wouldn’t even make any sort of social plans for the days following my workouts because I knew I was going to be too sore and too tired. She kept cutting my calories, upping my workout times, and I was seeing zero results. The only difference I noticed was a lot of exhaustion, a sore body, and my husband had a very hangry wife. I worked with her for about four months, and at the end of it, I decided it was time to part ways.
The three red flags
Bad nutrition advice - I wish that I had known then what I knew about nutrition, but I didn’t, so I just took advice from anyone. While personal trainers often know a lot about protein and macronutrients, many of them are not certified in nutrition - they’re certified in working out. One of the biggest issues was that she kept telling me to cut my calories. I got down to almost 1,100 calories per day, and she was still wanting me to cut more. I felt weak, tired, hungry, and I stopped having a period. When I mentioned this to her, she said that food and workouts have nothing to do with hormones, and I should go see a doctor because it was something else entirely. That’s when I made up my mind to stop working with her. I started increasing my calories, got my period back, and started to see more muscle definition.
Never checking form - This was not a face-to-face trainer. We didn’t live in the same state, but everything she did was built through a program online. This was great for so many reasons, but one thing she never did was ask for videos on my form. This actually led to some muscle strains, and me being a lot more sore than necessary.
One-size-fits-all programing - I think the same rings true with fitness as it does with nutrition - you have to meet the bio-individual needs. One great thing I love about working with my clients is that each person is different, and that means each protocol is different. I told her I could reasonably spend about 45 minutes working out every single day. She planned out hour-long workouts 5 days per week and said I needed to be doing 30 minutes of cardio every single day. I was losing much-needed sleep and getting up at an unreasonable hour to try and fit in that much exercise.
No focus on functional training - I’m a big believer in functional training. This type of training includes using exercises that train the body for movements performed in everyday life. She was looking for ways to help me, “see results faster,” but I was hoping for something that would help me to maintain a health, mobile body for many years to come.
Inconsistency - There were multiple occasions where she would forget about our meetings or be late to them. That spoke volumes how valued I felt as a client (I didn’t). I lost a lot of trust in them, and felt like they were just in it for the money.
It was really unfortunate to have to go through that experience, but it helped to pinpoint what I was actually looking for in a personal trainer. Last year I started working with a new personal trainer, and I love her! I decided I wanted to start working with someone because I had an old should injury that was acting up, and I was hoping to be able to build up the muscle and avoid surgery. I’ve been extremely happy to find that not only has working with her helped me get my shoulder strength back and avoid surgery, but I’ve also been able to really enjoy working out again. I told her I just wanted to feel strong again, and she has definitely delivered.
What I recommend looking for in a personal trainer
They know where you’re at - the main reason I started working with my trainer was because I wanted to get my shoulder back in shape. Not only has she been incredible with helping me gage my own strength, but she has experience from her own shoulder injury, so she was able to speak into mine.
Functional movement patterns - I mentioned this earlier, but this is extremely important. While there are bodybuilders, many people aren’t working out for a stage-ready physique. Proper strength training while you’re younger actually helps to build muscle, prevent osteoporosis, and help with balance when you’re older. Find a trainer that will focus on exercises that will not only help you today, but will help to prepare you for later in life.
We align nutritionally - It’s okay if you don’t see 100% eye-to-eye with someone, but it is important to fully understand what your trainer expects of you. My trainer knows that I do nutrition, so she didn’t do any sort of meal planning for me, but she does align with the idea of an ancestral and holistic way of eating, which made it so much easier to talk about food with her.
They know your needs - I think trainers can work with both genders, but I really appreciate that my trainer only works with women. She keeps up with her education, and she specializes in women’s health. Because she understands female hormones and how stress (yes, exercise is a stressor) can impact cycles.
Experience - One thing I really appreciate about my trainer is that she’s been doing this for years. She’s seen many clients, but she only takes 5 clients at one time. She does that so that she can give them the full attention and focus that they deserve. Each program is specifically designed for the individual with the understanding that no two clients are alike.
